The Best Pirate I’ve Ever Seen
by piewacket
Summary: James and Katherine Norrington indulge in a game of Captured Commodore and Evil Pirate Wench. This is a one shot for The Fireplace Writing Challenge #2: OCs.


A/N: This is a one shot for The Fireplace Writing Challenge #2: OCs.

Katherine was created for _Peacock's Plumage_. That story ended with them playing a game of _Corrupt Commodore and Captured Pirate_ _Wench_. This is Katherine's second attempt at being the one in charge of the game. This story, as do all of mine, completely ignores anything that occurred after _Dead Man's Chest_.

* * *

"Show me once again, Gibbs. And please go slowly this time." Katherine leaned over the battered wooden table to get a closer view. 

In her concentration, she was oblivious to the stares and whispers of the men who frequented the rather questionable tavern. It was not often they saw a lady of quality in this establishment. Though most of them had become accustomed to seeing the Commodore's missus frequent unusual spots, this was a first, even for her.

"Aye, Mrs. Norrington. Though I can't believe you've never mastered the slip knot. What with you being such a fine sailor and all."

Katherine felt herself flush at his words. It was not that she had any false modesty, but to be called a fine sailor by such an old salt as Gibbs was high praise indeed. "It's the one knot that has eluded me, but it's important that I get it right before tonight." She carefully scrutinized his every movement before taking the length of rope from him and once again attempting it.

Gibbs watched as the young woman bit her lip in and furrowed her brow. Her single mindedness was unnerving and he was quiet, lest he disturb her efforts. The tip of her tongue poked out to moisten her lips with each twist and turn of the rope, until at last she completed her task and gave a crow of triumph.

"I did it, Mr. Gibbs! I did it!" Katherine gave the old sailor a kiss on the cheek and hugged him tightly. "Oh, thank you so very much. You are an angel and you have saved my evening. Now, I'm sorry, but I must dash. I have so many preparations to make before dinner."

Gibbs watched as the shapely figure of Mrs. Norrington disappeared from view and chuckled to himself. He had no idea what she had planned for the evening that would require an ability to tie a slip knot, but one thing was certain- the Commodore was in for an interesting night.

--------------------

Katherine tugged on the borrowed breeches. The darn things were too tight. She frowned as she examined herself in the looking glass. Slowly a suspicion began to form as she noted the fullness of her breasts and the slight swell to her abdomen. Thinking back over the last few months, it occurred to her that she had not had her monthly flow. That, combined with the unexplained weight gain, could only mean one thing; she was with child.

The temptation to immediately tell James was strong. However, if she did, he would likely renege on his agreement and withdraw his birthday present. It would be done on the flimsiest of pretexts, but she recalled how last year he had weaseled out of finishing the game. No, this year, she was going to thoroughly enjoy her birthday gift. The news could wait until morning.

Deftly, she uncoiled her hair to let it flow freely down her back. James preferred it this way and it was more suited to the night's activities. She fastened a belt and borrowed sword around her waist and surveyed the whole ensemble. Tonight, James Norrington was going to make reparations for past deeds. He enjoyed teasing and tormenting her far too much and it was past time he suffered the same fate.

Katherine knew her husband fully expected that he would once again be able to turn the tables, just as he had last year. But this year, she was going to make sure he was well and truly incapacitated before she let herself get too involved in the fun. A wicked grin spread across her face as she contemplated the hours ahead. The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs interrupted her delicious thoughts and had Katherine scrambling behind the dressing screen and out of sight. She wanted to catch James unawares and unprepared to do anything but concede.

"Kat?" James called out as he entered the room and did not see his wife sitting as expected in front of the dressing table. The servants must have been mistaken when they'd informed him that she was upstairs waiting. They had just been eager to head out for an unexpected evening free of duties. Certainly the sly winks and giggles that had accompanied the servants' departure indicated that they were well aware of why they had received such a boon. James grinned ruefully. So much for trying to retain some sense of discretion and privacy.

Deciding to make use of the time before Kat's return, James set down the hamper of cold food that Cook had thoughtfully pressed upon him. Carefully, he removed his wig, combed through the flattened brown hair beneath it, and then tied it into a queue. Kat preferred his natural hair and he concurred with her opinion. Besides, he always felt more than a little silly making love with his wig on.

He unbuttoned his uniform jacket, and poured himself a glass of sherry before settling down to read. Kat was sure to be home soon, and a few moments of respite before the evening's activities were welcome. He still could not remember quite how she had talked him into giving this particular game another try; it really did go against the grain. Yet, it did not truly signify, for he would once again take control when things began to be too uncomfortable. Of course Kat would pout and complain at first, but in the end she would be satisfied. James was grinning at how very pleasurable it was going to be to once again catch Kat unawares when he felt the press of cold metal on his neck.

"Stand up slowly, and turn around, Commodore. Do not make any sudden moves or I shall run you through with this blade."

A wave of relief washed over him at the sound of his wife's voice. It seemed she intended to fully enter into the spirit of the night's festivities. The evening was indeed going to be entertaining. He turned with a satisfied smile on his face, one that faltered as he took in her appearance. Kat was standing before him clothed in a man's shirt and breeches instead of a gown. Damn it! Kat knew full well that he disapproved of her in that type of clothing.

Katherine watched as her husband slowly assessed her appearance. There could be no doubt she had well and truly taken him by surprise. The moment she pressed the blade against his skin, she'd heard his hiss of in-drawn breath and seen his spine go rigid in anticipation of a fight. If she was not mistaken, he was about to lodge a complaint regarding her choice of garments. It was time to take charge.

"Commodore, I have your ship and men under my control. If you cooperate they will be released unharmed, if you do not cooperate their fate will be grisly." Katherine watched as James' lips twitched in a smile. Darn it! He was not properly entering into the spirit of events.

"Then by all means, tell me what you require, Kat."

"That's _Captain Thompson_ to you, Commodore Norrington. You would do well to remember your place."

"Ah yes, _Captain Thompson_, I forgot myself. Please enlighten me as to what you will require to ensure the safety of my crew."

Kat wanted to stamp a foot in frustration. James was being his usual superior self and refusing to act the role properly. Well, she would give him something to think about. With a few swishes of the sword, she clipped off the buttons of his waistcoat. Kat expected James to be somewhat angered by this action. After all, last time she had done something similar he'd become very angry indeed. She was startled to hear him chuckling.

"Now you've done it, Captain Thompson. My wife will not be pleased to have to sew those buttons back on."

His mocking statement was the last straw. Katherine tossed the sword aside, went to the bed and started gathering pillows. "You are the most annoying man ever, James Norrington. I should have known that you would renege on our agreement. Well, that's just fine. You can spend your night in your own room, or at the fort. I don't care where, just as long as I don't have to look at you!"

James was busy developing a new appreciation for breeches as his wife bent over the bed reaching for a far pillow. Perhaps he ought to relent on his prohibition of the garment, at least in the privacy of their bedchamber? It took Kat's shoving an armful of pillows at him for him to come back to the problem at hand. If he did not want to spend a cold and lonely night, it was time for some humble pie.

"I am sorry, Kat. You are correct and I've been a beast. Tell me what you want and I promise to be a good captive from now on."

He watched as her face revealed her thoughts; anger turned to suspicion turned to happiness. Once again, James' marveled at his wife's mercurial temperament. She could be enraged one moment and sunnily smiling the next. Life with her was never dull.

"Really, James? Good. Go and lie down on the bed," Kat ordered; once again back in full Captain Thompson mode.

Just barely managing to keep the grin from his face, James asked, "Do you wish for me to remove any of my clothing first?"

"Um… yes. That would be a good idea. Remove your jacket, waistcoat and boots." Katherine watched as her husband complied. "Now, go and lie down on the bed."

"What about my breeches, Captain Thompson?" This time James was a little less successful at keeping the amusement from his voice.

Katherine shook her head and smiled wickedly. "No, Commodore Norrington, that will not be necessary at the moment.

James was not certain that he liked what that comment signified but he did as ordered. Complacently he lay there awaiting his wife's next move. When she reached for his arm to tie it to the bedpost, he raised no objections. It was obvious that she had not learned from last year, for she was once again using the slick silk scarves. He would be able to maneuver free whenever the time suited him.

However, when after securing both of his wrists Kat clambered across the bed and grabbed his ankle, he protested, "Hey! That was not part of the bargain."

"I don't believe that you're in much of a position to argue, Commodore. Now be a good captive and be quiet."

James considered the situation for a moment. He supposed there was no harm in allowing her this feeling of victory. Soon enough, he would work his hands free and then he could untie his legs. But she would pay dearly for this stunt. Meanwhile, he decided to enjoy the view on offer as she wiggled her behind while tying the scarves. _Yes, breeches definitely did have some merits. _

By the time Katherine finished her task, his breath was already shallow. When she moved back up the bed and straddled his chest, he twitched in anticipation of her touch. . A small groan escaped him as she began to unbutton his shirt and place soft kisses on the side of his neck. Gently, she laved at the hollow of his throat and then moved further southward.

"Do you like that, Commodore?" Kat purred as she flicked one of his nipples with her tongue.

"Yes."

Inch by inch, she blazed path of light kisses and nips down his chest, following the ever denser dusting of dark hairs. James could feel her unbound breasts as they swayed and gently bumped against him. He could smell the lilac from her perfume, and smiled at Kat's notion of being a pirate wench. Men's clothing aside, she was not like any female pirate he had ever run across. Though truth be told, there had only ever been two of them, both ugly as sin and missing several teeth. Pirate wenches most definitely did not smell of lilacs. James decided he much preferred Kat's version of a pirate wench over the stark reality. A moment later, all traces of merriment fled as her mouth reached his waist and her fingers began to fumble with his breech's buttons. Surely she did not intend to do what her actions were suggesting?

Kat leaned back on her heels and studied James' face. She could read his disbelief, excitement and burgeoning hope. Val had been correct when she'd told her that all men secretly desired this act, even if they were loath to admit it to their wives.

"How much? Tell me how much you want me to continue. For instance, do you like it when I do this? Or do you want me to stop?" Katherine followed her question by lightly brushing her fingertips across his groin.

"Yes. I mean no. No, don't stop."

Katherine pulled back and grinned at her captive. "You seem to have trouble making up your mind, Commodore. Maybe, we need a bit of a break so you can gather your composure. I'm thirsty and am going to get some wine. If you're a very good boy, I shall even bring you some." With this pronouncement, she left the bed and sashayed from the room. It felt so very good to be the one in control and the one doing the teasing.

Watching her leave, James decided he had endured enough of this torment, and that this was the perfect opportunity to work his way free of the bonds. With that thought in mind, he began to tug, but rather than giving, as they had last time, the knots grew tighter.

Katherine walked back into the room to witness her spouse tugging frantically and swearing rather loudly. "James, you won't break free this time. Mr. Gibbs was kind enough to help me perfect my slip knot. The more you struggle, the tighter you will be bound."

Katherine laughed as she heard James growl a word that was not usually used in polite society. "Really, you are kicking up such a fuss. Turnabout is fair play, you know. You've had me at your mercy many a time; I shall simply return the favor. There is nothing wrong with that is there? Now, just calm down, you will have an absolutely lovely time. I know that I shall."

A little over an hour later and James was ready to strangle his wife. She, however, was having the time of her life. On three occasions she had brought James to the brink, only to deny him release. And the best part was that she had cottoned on to a surefire way to break through his composure, no matter how stoic he tried to remain.

"Kat, enough already. Untie me and stop this nonsense."

"Hm. Untie you? I think not, but you have been a very good prisoner so perhaps you do deserve some reward. I'll tell you what, if you beg me very prettily, I won't stop this time."

"Mrs. Norrington when I am free you will regret this, be assured of that."

Katherine giggled and adopted a pretend pout. "That really did not sound much like begging to me. In fact, it sounded more like a threat. Perhaps you need a further demonstration of who is in control?"

James finally acknowledged that he would have to concede defeat. Through clenched teeth, he muttered, "Fine. I'm begging you. Please stop torturing me."

Katherine laughed at his ungraciousness. How typical of James to make even a concession seem like an order. It was one of his most annoying traits. Yet, it was also one of his most endearing. "That was not exactly what I had in mind. Still, I suppose that it will have to due. Very well, I shall stop teasing."

Just as Katherine had begun anew her ministrations, a muffled voice called through the door.

"Commodore Norrington, I hate to intrude but you're needed urgently."

James groaned at the interruption. "Go away, Mr. Groves. Lieutenant Gillette has command of the fort. Go bother him."

"Sir, I am sorry, but that's the problem."

"Don't tell me he set his wig afire again?" James shouted back with more than a touch of exasperation.

Laughter could be heard from behind the closed door. "No, sir. His wig is fine. It's just that he's been kidnapped."

James and Katherine exchanged alarmed glances at this news and Katherine began to untie James. After a few moments, she whispered, "Damn it!"

"What's wrong, Kat?"

"The knots won't come undone. I'm going to have to cut them." Hurriedly she ran and retrieved the sword.

"Kat, you cannot mean to use that? I'll end up losing a hand," James whispered back to her and then loudly shouted, "Give me a few minutes, Groves."

"Well, what else am I to use? Just stay very still."

Katherine lifted the sword and was interrupted by James' shout, "No!"

Putting the sword down and crossing her arms, Katherine huffed, "Then tell me what to do. What would you suggest I use- my teeth?"

"Kat, there is no need to be sarcastic."

"If you would stop being so…" Her tirade was forestalled by a loud pounding on the door.

"Excuse me, Commodore Norrington. I hate to be impolite but there is some urgency to this matter. You see, Gillette was aboard the _Intrepid_ when he was kidnapped. I suppose you could say the ship was kidnapped as well. Anyway, Sparrow has them both and he has a head start."

With this further news, Katherine went over to the door and yanked it open. "Mr. Groves, please go down to the kitchen and fetch me a knife."

Stunned by his Commodore's wife appearing before him garbed in men's clothing, Groves stood for a moment and gaped.

"Stop staring at me, Groves, and hurry up!" Katherine snapped at him. As he rounded the corner, she yelled, "Better yet, make it two knives. You can assist me."

James closed his eyes and nearly whimpered about the indignity he was soon to suffer. This episode would certainly be the talk of the fort for weeks to come. How was he ever going to live this down?

Thankfully, when Groves returned with the knives, he was mercifully silent and refrained from comment. At last, James was freed from his bonds, and he quickly straightened his clothing and drew on his boots.

Katherine watched as her husband hurriedly dressed. The situation was beyond awkward with Groves ostentatiously refraining from comment or looking at the bed. Finally, she could no longer endure the tension and weakly offered, "Um. You see, Mr. Groves, it was only a game of _Captured Commodore and Evil Pirate Wench_."

James made a strangled sound and sent his wife a glare, a glare which unfortunately sent her into peals of laughter. With a snort of disgust, James herded Groves out of the room.

As they disappeared down the hall, Katherine heard Groves say, "That has got to be the best pirate I've ever seen."


End file.
